A friend once picked the ball from roulette wheel to get himself banned from a casino. It was one way of bridge burning, creating a situation from where there is no going back. If you ever think that you need to make a break and put yourself in a no going back situation be sure to do it in a way that’s creative, fun and doesn’t generate you a whole pile of regret.
My preference is for the slow build up. Don’t go ranting and raving into the bosses office on a Monday morning telling him (or her) where they can stick the job. That’s far too unoriginal, destructive and more than likely you’ll have just lost yourself a job and be stuck for something to do to pay the mortgage, without the option of a decent reference to find the next even dead-end job.
I really liked the tale of Alex Bruni. She was a university lecturer but did some modelling on the side, leading a double life with both lives quite separate. Some of the modelling was quite mainstream fashion work and her striking white hair got her some high profile work for more mature models. Then there was the nude work. Nothing tacky but not an activity that blended well with her day job. And lastly there was the modelling assignment that was both fashion, nude and noticeable. There was no going back once her secret life was out. Which was fine as the modelling was more fun than what was happening in academia.
So if your secret double life is a bit risky and might conflict with your professional existence then keep them apart until such times as you know which one you can make a fulfilling success of (and that includes next month’s mortgage payment). Then slowly let the world’s collide and warm your hands on the bridge fire.
Do you have some secret life that you’re building and are you ready to nudge events in a direction to create a new way forward?